dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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