I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
