First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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