He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
