I wish I could teleport
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
