She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
