It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Randomize
