It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
