So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
