if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
