No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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