I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
