Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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