the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
