I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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