she takes plan B like it's going out of style
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
