Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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