I need help removing her.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
