went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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