Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
