its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think I am morally bankrupt
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
