Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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