after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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