She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
