what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Randomize
