She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
