Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
