ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
