I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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