There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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