i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
