Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
