Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
