I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
