What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
