I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
