His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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