Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
