Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
