I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
