I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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