One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
