Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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