Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
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