I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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