Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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