I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
