she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I wear drunk well.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
