ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
