Jerry, you need to find god
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
