I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
